Job is beset by many trials sent by the Devil to prove Job’s steadfast love for God and God allows it. In telling the story there are many places that Job seems to be angry with God. He may well be, but I read these examples differently:
“Does it please you [God] to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the schemes of the wicked?” Job 10:3
“Surely, O God, you have worn me out; you have devastated my entire household.” Job 16:7
“He [God] throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and ashes. I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.” Job 30:19-20
“Oh, that I had someone to hear me! I sign now my defense – let the Almighty answer me; let my accuser put his indictment in writing.” Job 31:35
“As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul…” Job 27:1
“…then know that God has wronged me and drawn his net around me. Though I cry, ‘I’ve been wronged!’ I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice.” Job 19:6-7
In reading the book of Job I found not a angry dialog blaming God for his troubles, rather a crying out in pain asking God, “Why me? What have I done to deserve this”.
Many times we just don’t understand what God’s plan for us is and the course of events seems designed to make us unhappy and to hurt us. How are we to bless his name when everything in our lives seems turned against us?
The big lesson of Job for me is that it’s OK for me to be angry about what is happening in my life. It’s OK for me to call out to God – I love you, I believe you want the best for me, I know that you have prepared a place for me that will fill all my needs; BUT why must I suffer through all this miserable stuff to get there?
I have to face my anger to let it go. I have to face it to understand that I am not really angry with God; my anger is with the circumstances and is based in fear and impatience. Fear that all the problems and issues in my life will be permanent and impatience because I want God’s blessing and healing now!
God may explain why he has chosen this path for me but maybe not, that’s his decision and while I may not like it, I have no choice but to accept it since everything that happens is his will not mine anyway. I know that if I don’t find acceptance I just make myself miserable while things work out the way God wants anyway!
I’m beginning to think that many times the trials and tribulations in my life are not about me, they are about someone else and I’m just collateral damage. Just as I might do everything right and still get hit by the idiot who runs the red light; their bad actions impact my life. So why would God allow those kinds of disruptions in my life? Could just be that the other person needs to see the devastation their actions caused to learn their lessons? Could just be that the people in my life need to take care of me to learn their lessons too?
But what about me?
Maybe I need to learn that not everything that happens to me is personal and aimed at me, I’m just not that important. Maybe I need to soldier on as a lesson to the people who see me. Or, just perhaps I need to soldier on as a lesson to me in loosing my anger and impatience?
Now that I’ve gotten my rant at God out of my system I would like to ask one blessing from Him. Please tell me what the plan is so I can conform my actions to it and skip all the painful floundering around. I promise you have grown me past the place where I need pain to teach me Your lessons. Please tell me which lesson is for me so I can “do my homework” and learn what you want me to learn without all the excess drama and turmoil.
Of course, my final words to God are: Never the less, thy will be done.